Janet Collins
Billy M"Ms" - Please Explain?
August 10th 2008 11:38
Australians have become accustomed to filling out forms of all sorts. When they ask you how you would like to be identified I always cross the “Ms” square. Try explaining this one to a foreigner though and you get yourself almost in knots.
Just yesterday, I was asked by a foreigner when she was filling out a form what box she should tick. She told me she was married. She pointed to the “Miss” box and said “this is if you are not married, yes?” She then pointed to the “Mrs” box and said “And this is if you are married?” “So what is this?” she said pointing to the “Ms” box.
It is just one of the many things that are hard to explain, particularly to someone who has limited English. I always tick the “Ms” square because I don’t think it is any business of anyone (other than if I was to go to a dating agency) to know my marital status. There is no reason for a prospective employer or a retailer who has asked me to fill in a survey or more or less anyone else to ask me if I am married.
I always understood that the reason these three options are on most forms is to keep everyone happy. Some women love to be called “Mrs”. Others may rather just tick the “Ms” box. I would think there are few who would want to really tick the “Miss” box. Although just maybe! How do you explain this all to a foreigner?
The fact that it is very clear for men – there is only one box “Mr” says it all don’t you think. Why don’t we just have a “Ms” box for the women and be done with it?
Just yesterday, I was asked by a foreigner when she was filling out a form what box she should tick. She told me she was married. She pointed to the “Miss” box and said “this is if you are not married, yes?” She then pointed to the “Mrs” box and said “And this is if you are married?” “So what is this?” she said pointing to the “Ms” box.
It is just one of the many things that are hard to explain, particularly to someone who has limited English. I always tick the “Ms” square because I don’t think it is any business of anyone (other than if I was to go to a dating agency) to know my marital status. There is no reason for a prospective employer or a retailer who has asked me to fill in a survey or more or less anyone else to ask me if I am married.
I always understood that the reason these three options are on most forms is to keep everyone happy. Some women love to be called “Mrs”. Others may rather just tick the “Ms” box. I would think there are few who would want to really tick the “Miss” box. Although just maybe! How do you explain this all to a foreigner?
The fact that it is very clear for men – there is only one box “Mr” says it all don’t you think. Why don’t we just have a “Ms” box for the women and be done with it?
| 71 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
A contentious issue for me as well. I started identifying myself as 'Ms' when I was about fifteen. I had no assumptions that I would be married and popping out kids at twenty years old, had always been very independent, and resented, even at that age, in a subconscious kind of way, the connotations implicit in the title of 'Miss', or 'Mrs' for that matter.
I couldn't imagine having a career, or being a modern independent woman, and being addressed according to whether of not I am legally tied to a man. What kind of way to label women is this? Is that how we are to be defined? And there is no point saying these differing titles no longer carry a weight of meaning.
A 'Miss' of a certain age summons ideas of spinsterhood, and otherwise brings to mind prim and innocent Sunday school teachers, or immaturity, obedience, weakness, lack of authority. Mrs can be just as bad, implying dependent nurturers, dutiful domestic housewifes.
I'm so glad I can be a 'Ms'. I don't know why women have to be divided up according to marital status but men don't. But then there is the question of why we have to be divided up according to gender in the first place, and the inherent problems with that...
I suppose it's hard sometimes to accommodate a system for society as a whole, while retaining the rights of the people within that society to represent themselves as individuals.
Good post,
Michaelie
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Personally, I always check the 'Rev.' box.
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
My guess is that many women would not want to be stripped of "Mrs".
Cibbuano - I like it - keep them guessing!
Janet
Comment by postmoderncritic
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
Your blog used to be run by a guy who pissed me off, nice to know that he's not around anymore, and hope you enjoy the domain.
I can regard the differentiation between 'Ms', 'Mrs' and 'Miss' as discriminatory or a privilege depending on my state of mind, so I'm not really sure if I would change it if I could, or how.
I agree with you that a woman's marital status is no-one's business. I have been married once (divorced now), but always put 'Ms'.
If you want to read about some complaints I had about a lot of standardised forms a while ago, you can check out On Filling Out Forms.
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Janet
.
Comment by colocountry
Good to see that your prodding has struck a nerve. There are many social mores that are simply perpetuated because our parents accepted them without a quibble and likewise we do too until the epiphany cometh and we are personally undone. Go for it girl...or perhaps you may not be a girl...but one in spirit obviously...and hence you will stick it to those who deserve it in your measured, well-researched manner as befits a social critic.
Col
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
You can visit my blog anytime.
Janet
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
very well said!
i have so much more respect for women who use the word "partner", maintain their own surnames, and tick the "Ms" box
unfortunately theres still a cultural abnormality where women with partners and treated with more respect than single women, so many married women LOVE using "Mrs" because it elevates their status and power etc
maybe one day we will have a gender generic title? id love to be Dr Bell . . . but i dont think thats gunna happen anytime soon!
Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog