Janet CollinsMobile Sex
May 3rd 2009 06:39
So the latest craze among teenage girls is “sexting” and we are supposed to be shocked.
All across the news today in NSW is the latest fad that has teenage girls as young as 13 sending sexually explicit images of themselves to their boyfriends via their mobile phones.
It’s called “sexting” and parents and the officials are so alarmed, the government is about to embark on a campaign to address the issue.
It wasn’t all that long ago I was having dinner with some friends and the subject of pop music and pornography came up and triggered some pretty lively discussion.
Many of the women at the table had two or three children of various ages but one, whose daughter was eight, commented on how current pop music had degraded to the level of pornography.
Pop stars and rock stars have always pushed the boundaries on stage, if for no other reason than to get more attention and have tongues wagging. More overt sexual movements are now just part of everyday dance routines and the clothes – most of these entertainers who are really child and teenage entertainers barely have anything on.
Kylie Minogue
To bring even more colour to some of these acts, other routines that are pretty provocative have been introduced. Pole dancing routines have become really common in the world of pop culture.
That’s the funniest thing because we have let things like pole dancing, once pretty much kept to the domains of the “men’s clubs” work their way into the mainstream. Gyms and dancing schools now teach pole dancing for fitness everywhere.
So now everyone is all bothered because all of a sudden these teenage girls who have spent the last four or five years watching their idols, many of whom aren’t too much older than they are, slide down poles, sing lurid songs and thrust their legs and whatever else around on stage, are now flirting with their teenage boyfriends via mobile phone. What better way to keep a guy interested than to imitate Brittany or even Kylie? And remember, Paris Hilton's now infamous sex video didn't really do her any harm.
We all agreed on one thing in our discussion – that we have all just accepted pornography into our lives. So it comes as a little surprise to me that parents and government officials would be so shocked and appalled that “sexting” is happening in the first place.
We have let our young females watch entertainers and pop stars flaunt with the audience and almost strip on stage, touch themselves and provocatively use their bodies for entertainment. How can a young female differentiate, morally speaking, between that and sending an explicit image of herself to a boyfriend?
Surely these young females must be more than a little confused. These idols they have grown up adoring have become rich and famous by doing some of the most raunchy acts and performances ever. They didn’t get there by playing modest.
No matter what the campaign, there are a lot of mixed messages coming out here.
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Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Comment by Janet Collins
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i also dont see why a 13 year old needs internet networking accounts or webcam
where are the parents?
and why are pop stars bigger role models to children than their own children?
spend some quality time, monitor, take an interest, lead by example, teach the value of self respect
Comment by Janet Collins
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I wholeheartedly agree that a 13 year old does not need all this stuff. The trouble is the mobile phone companies had big advertising campaigns years ago specifically scaring parents and making mobile phones a matter of safety.
I guess what I was trying to get at is that where is the line? It seems quite acceptable for pop stars, who the children and teenagers are watching from an early age, to thrust their way around a stage or in a music video. How would they know it is wrong for them to do this on their mobile phone.
Thank you.
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I agree with that. I am certainly not a prude and I know things are a lot more casual these days. Little girls in heels are a bit much and I think somehow kids don't recognise the difference between entertainment and real life. Pity.
Thanks for dropping by.
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I don't agree with that at all. Parents impose rules and advice because they do know better. They are older and have more experience. And if we're going to say parents shouldn't give rules, you may as well take the parents away and put 13 year olds in their own apartments to live by themself.
And rules are not just there just to say here kids, do this. They're there because parents care about their children and they don't want to see them get hurt. My kids aren't exactly at the age of phone texting - or even having a phone. But they're definitely at the age where there's a lot of rules about what they can and can't do. I put those rules in place because I love them. If I didn't love them, I wouldn't care what they did.
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Comment by Janet Collins
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There was a case in the US where an 18 year old girl sent a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend and he distributed copies to lots of friends. It resulted in her being bullied and she hung herself.
It's bad enough if a photo like this is in the hands of one other person but these girls have no control over where the photo will end up. Boys will be boys too and probably don't realise the seriousness of what they are doing either.
Comment by Janet Collins
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The intention of the program is to alert parents to what is happening and to encourage them to monitor what their children are actually doing on the phones. The trouble is teenagers are teenagers and once they have turned 15 or so it becomes more and more difficult for parents to stick their noses in.
They probably need a little more education on the seriousness of the issue and what can happen after they send a photo on to someone else.
Comment by jimmy
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Not saying parents shouldn't have rules for their children to follow. Just saying too many rules are bad. Once they become teenagers it really doesn't do much good to been too strict. Teenagers are much more capable than given credit for and need to make their own mistakes to learn from. If kids want to do stuff they will do it behind their parents backs. A lot of parents only think they know what their kids are up to. And why tell teenagers they can't do this that and the other thing when adults do it? It makes certain things seem more appealing.
Janet,
Posting a photo of someone like that is a terrible thing to do. But the girl must have had problems already. Maybe that tipped her over the edge. It is very sad.
Comment by Lilla
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*Craze* ???
Both my kids have had mobile phones since they were 8 or 9 and neither would dream of texting nude pictures of themselves to anywhere, nor of being pressured by their peers into anything like it ?? (. .there are phone logs a discernig, caring parent can check)... Is it just more media hype than we realise, (giving kids these ideas in the first place?) I find it deplorable that the government feels that it is endemic and has to start a campaign to *educate parents on what their children are up to?*
That said, my family are considered freaks because we have said no to continued TV viewing, (something I see as very misused in todays world). Maybe not the be all and end all of getting things organised at home; but certainly a start on the right path to ensure that a certain amount of reading or creative mental endeavour is achieved each day; that open family talks remain common daily practice and that the rule of moderation is met, along with the gleaning of moral codes of *right and wrong,* reality and illusion. Rules made because of love, not to negate it.
To me an apt metaphor would probably sound like someone raising those scary big black dogs. Raise them properly and they are as gentle as lambs, raise them cruelly and you have raving mongrels ready to bite the nearest persons head off.
The truth is, that many parents I talk to seem scared of their teenagers, or look down on them in some way, avoiding the issue of sex and how to get into it. . . I cannot imagine why? teenagers are curious and manky, I was curious and manky too! So I agree with the comment of it being a parenting problem.
Ooh so agreed Janet. Parents turning a blind eye (why? . . in order to cover a false sense of guilt they themselves may still carry from being caught out when they were young and chastised for it, perhaps). Passing on their own confusion which results in ridiculous rules being laid down, many in complete contradiction to their words. For example : You are grounded for kissing (or whatever) some bloke, or getting in late or whatever, but you can watch all that soft porn stuff on TV whilst you stay in and think about what you have done wrong? Or whilst Mum (or Dad) engages yet another partner for the evening?
No wonder the young are confused.
Where are the parents indeed and to also add an echo of Norms words of wisdom applied in this case to the current US music video industry . . Americanism is like flu, easy to catch, so hard to get rid of.
Once again my ideas will chaff, but I*m thinking that if parents can no longer parent, then perhaps the olden day cures should be reintroduced : send the girls to church and the boys to learn skills in military school for a couple of years. That*ll sort it all out. . . I guess that this opinion in todays liberal world will just cause another chaffing for being too draconian in its approach?
*sigh* bracing myself
Lilla ..
Comment by Janet Collins
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I know pop stars and even tv and movie stars have always projected (or tried to) sexy images but the lines between stage, screen and real life seemed to have totally blurred.
Thanks for your really good comment.
Janet
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