Janet Collins
Billy M5 Reasons You Should Visit Melbourne
January 18th 2007 12:04
1. An Ugly State Government: In my opinion, Melbourne boasts a mundane, lame duck Premier and a Mayor who seems more about marketing himself than creating a better city. Mayor John So has an album and countless t-shirts. Did I mention two of his restaurants were reviewed for bad health practices? Victorian Premier Steve Bracks isn't perfect either - he tolled the Scoresby freeway after reiterating it would be free. Apart from that, lovely people.
2. Most Accessible Public Transport Oh we are spoiled for choice in this lovely city. Trams, trains and buses galore. But I spent one night waiting 40 minutes for a bus - and when it came, it didn't pick me up. Check trains too. Every day, without fail, I recieve smses (just for 2 of 17 lines, from 6:00 - 8:00 and 4:00 - 6:00) telling me my trains are cancelled. Every so often I'll recieve two or more cancellations. 1 on the 15th, 4 on the 16th, 1 yesterday, 2 today. Some trains have failed brakes. But sometimes they're clean...
3. Waterfront City: The Docklands boasts a few restaurants, some expensive apartments and a place to watch New Years Eve fireworks. By all means, take a few photos. But don't expect to make a day of it. Although the Channel 7 building is conveniently located - you could ask for a tour, maybe... The whole thing has cost a lot of money and seems a little useless.
4. Interesting Venues: Come for the MCG, stay for the Australian Open, the Grand Prix, Melbourne Sports and Aquatics Centre and the Aquarium. Personally, I hate the aquarium. I find it terribly boring and eating at any of the other venues/events will cost you your right arm. Definately an experience though - I'd recommend it ! Don't miss the film or comedy festivals. I love them to death.
5. Spencer St. Station: How much did taxpayers spend to renovate it and rename it Southern Cross? You may delight in the fact it is clean and is a nice place to look at. Enjoy it, because it cost us a couple of billion. With over 100 factory outlets positioned by the station, too, more people will commute, meaning more revenue.
I'm sure there are plenty more reasons to visit Melbourne - the overhaul of Spencer St. created jobs and large companies were willing to invest, but with countless road tolls, money-making speed cameras, and costly public transport (over $1,600 for a yearly ticket) I just wonder where all the money goes...
2. Most Accessible Public Transport Oh we are spoiled for choice in this lovely city. Trams, trains and buses galore. But I spent one night waiting 40 minutes for a bus - and when it came, it didn't pick me up. Check trains too. Every day, without fail, I recieve smses (just for 2 of 17 lines, from 6:00 - 8:00 and 4:00 - 6:00) telling me my trains are cancelled. Every so often I'll recieve two or more cancellations. 1 on the 15th, 4 on the 16th, 1 yesterday, 2 today. Some trains have failed brakes. But sometimes they're clean...
3. Waterfront City: The Docklands boasts a few restaurants, some expensive apartments and a place to watch New Years Eve fireworks. By all means, take a few photos. But don't expect to make a day of it. Although the Channel 7 building is conveniently located - you could ask for a tour, maybe... The whole thing has cost a lot of money and seems a little useless.
Lovely to look it, but I hate how it's run...
4. Interesting Venues: Come for the MCG, stay for the Australian Open, the Grand Prix, Melbourne Sports and Aquatics Centre and the Aquarium. Personally, I hate the aquarium. I find it terribly boring and eating at any of the other venues/events will cost you your right arm. Definately an experience though - I'd recommend it ! Don't miss the film or comedy festivals. I love them to death.
5. Spencer St. Station: How much did taxpayers spend to renovate it and rename it Southern Cross? You may delight in the fact it is clean and is a nice place to look at. Enjoy it, because it cost us a couple of billion. With over 100 factory outlets positioned by the station, too, more people will commute, meaning more revenue.
I'm sure there are plenty more reasons to visit Melbourne - the overhaul of Spencer St. created jobs and large companies were willing to invest, but with countless road tolls, money-making speed cameras, and costly public transport (over $1,600 for a yearly ticket) I just wonder where all the money goes...
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Comment by David my David
Interesting observational post ...accurate portrayal in my book ... I've only just returned from 'existing' (not living) in Melb for 7 years ...
I have to say I fell in love with living there for a while... but then I agree with everything you say ... because you're highlighting its down points ... (and yep ... there's a lot ..
At the end of the day ... next time you go to Melbourne? ... Go to Young & Jackson's pub opposite Flinders Street Station ... go upstairs into the dining room, where the famous painting of 'Chloe' naked in all her botty-celli glory is ... order a few drinks .. (okay, heaps) .. have a feed .. (make sure you take someone you Love ... who puts out afterwards ) ... have a bit of social down time (forget all about how bad Melbourne is ... focus on the woman of your dreams .... and afterwards? Book into any motel/hotel in Melbourne and do what you'd do in the privacy of your own home with her ... and then ? ... Never visit again ... cos it's a waste of money if you can do all that erotic sensual sexual stuff at home .... but just tell people ... "I visited Melbourne once. Loved the place." ***
That's my approach to life ... (FOCUS on a woman ... cos by hell it makes you forget all the bad things in life ... regardless of what city you're in ...
Apart from that ... Just keep posting ... I like your posts man ...
David ...
Comment by AnthonyB
I think I will visit Young and Jacksons. I've lived in Melbourne all my life and I haven't found one person able to see the corruption I see. Since you agree with my negative, hysterical rant - I will follow your advice in good faith and enjoy my night of wild intimacy.
I completely agree with you about women ! They're an amazing race aren't they?
Thanks for your comments, David. It's always a pleasure to have you on the Critic.
- Anthony
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
I, like you, wonder where the money goes, people paid top $ for doing worthless $ work but a useful [in politics only] name.
Bit like no frills for very top grossly inflated fees.
I'm trying to think up some 'masculine' art, bit hard with what I do, but I shall see.
katyzzz
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
I went to fuction where John So was guest and the woman just were all over him like the spots of the measils. I can't understand a word he says.
On the Beach was filmed in Melbourne because it looked most like the end of the world.
Still I love it here
Comment by Stanley
thousands of spectators. loud noises made by hotted up cars and fun for the family as well i hear with parents bringing their kids along.
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by David my David
Due to dial up (and its slowness) I don't usually look at the bloggers' homepages much ... [unless it's a spunkalicious woman] ... (I didn't even realise you lived in Melbourne ...
As per usual, I had more than a few jobs in Melbourne over a seven year period. One of them was working as a postie out in the outer western suburbs (St. Alban's area ... Caroline Springs etc ... Boge city out there ... Upper-Class Boges ...
In reality, I quite like Melbourne as a city for one reason ...it's quite regional ..
While I was going postal-psycho, I was living in the south-eastern suburbs ... (East Bentleigh) ... in a bungalow (that was Melbourne to me ... Being cooped up in my room with a bar fridge, an ashtray, a pc & the net ... at a ladies house who played Viola for the MSO and conducted violin lessons at home ... (bloody concerts all afternoon some days ... (just wish her daughter would have put some clothes on to sunbake on the trampoline outside my window ... (got no writing done at all one afternoon* ) ...
So, to get to work? 3.30am rises. Cut through to the South Eastern Freeway, and take it from High Street Ashburton ... the whole length of it ... past Tulla ... way past Tulla ... $52/wk just to get to work on tollway fees alone, let alone petrol ... @ $100.
So I had to work two days for nothing, basically .. to pay to get to work? (people wonder why I don't work anymore ...
Loved the Burnleigh Tunnel though ... Trippy at 4.30am ... when the speakers take over your radio ... and do the big announcement? Scared the shit out of me the first time ...
And loved the Bolte or West Gate in the afternoon .. the view ... I agre with Damo ... It's Bladerunner-ish ... I loved the view from the west gate .. (so the transport system is excellent in Melb ... just too expensive ...
Bloody new estates? Caroline Springs? Kath & Kim country ... You don't see a bloody soul all day delivering the post ... but that's okay ... It's great doing 80kph on the footpath ... just chucking the mail somewhere ... anywhere near the house ... hoping it's the right house ... (not really caring ... (but the best days? Junk mail days ... where they make you deliver junk mail (Aust Post approved junk mail ... Those artificial lakes in Carro Springs? They're full of Australia Post junk mail ... that's where I used to deliver the rubbish ... There was a guy in AP ... I used to call him Duckhead. Why? He though the ducks on the lake weren't real. HIs logic and reasoning? How could they be? They're artificial lakes. How can a real duck float on an artificial lake you Dickhead, he'd say to me ... So I named him Duckhead after that ...
Anyway ... I loved Melbourne at times ... and despised it at others ... And John Soo? ... I guess you have to laugh at the man ... otherwise you'd cry ? ...
Adios ...
Davi d...
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Don't forget, there's plenty of bars and nightclubs to go out to. Just don't try to catch a taxi home afterwards unless you really enjoy standing at a cab rank for about 3 hours. Just stay at the bar and keep drinking until the trains start running the next morning.......provided they're not cancelled of course.
Great post as always Anthony. Unfortunately you're spot on with all your comments!
Comment by AnthonyB
Thanks Katyzzz !
Damo, you are absolutely right ! haha! I've never really considered Melbourne in that light, but I agree. The whole city is doomed !!
Cibby, Melbourne is definately worth a visit. Just don't pay taxes. I have no idea where my tax money goes. I seem to pay for everything I use. And now I have to limit my showers. Who's coming to Canada with me?
Thanks for your comments, guys !
Comment by AnthonyB
What's up with the artificial lakes? Is everything fake in Delfin? I'm glad enjoyed your commuting David !! Even if it was expensive, it seemed like an experience worth remembering. Have fun not schlepping to work like most people.
Kylie; Cabs are too expensive anyway. I hate them. If transport ran longer, I'd have no need for taxis. Yep, I do like the nightlife. It's world-class. And a reasonably safe city. But I won't mention that. I'm angry at Bracks right now. If only everyone would revolt...
Cheers for the visit !!
- Anthony
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Not used to having a Melbourne local disparage their city like you have. It's quite bizarre.
Enjoyed the read.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by AnthonyB
Thanks for the comment Mrs M ! But I do love Melbourne far more than Sydney
- Anthony.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Very Riddley Scott.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by Anonymous
In an age that has brought drastic climate changes, a global poverty epidemic and a move back towards imperialism, are we that pretensions that our main worries are Connex and a boring Aquarium? This is the latte set gone mad!
Comment by Mike Crowl
Webitz
Work Report
I didn't like some of the inner suburbs: endless streets of boring shops all selling the same kind of thing. I don't know how most of them survive.
Did like the shop that sold only secondhand mysteries and thrillers, though; that was great. But I can't remember what suburb that was in. Luna Park was pretty dated, and the Casino was a nightmare to find your way round in.
But we walked quite a bit around the inner city - and enjoyed ourselves.
Comment by AnthonyB
YES !! hahaha !! I love it Damo, you're spot on !! Bracks, again !! what the hell is he doing do us ? Expect film crews to rock up in Degraves St., Federation Square and China Town. It would make for a few excellent features.
Comment by AnthonyB
Furthermore, Jeff Kennett was a godsend for Victoria. The Exhibition Centre, the Grand Prix ? That was Kennett. Yes, he closed down schools and hospitals, but I haven't complained about health or education.
I don't drink lattes and my age is irrelevent. I rely heavily on public transport and I was merely expressing my opinion that the Aquarium isn't really worth the time or money.
I can name the city's shortcomings - tell me what Bracks and John So have done correctly, and maybe then I'll treat you with more respect
Don't waste my time with your unfounded generalisations of today's youth.
Comment by AnthonyB
Such simplicity is lost on me - although I remember walking to school through Primary education and all I had concern myself with was homework and my peers. But back then I had a mobile.
I've never really had the pleasure of being so carefree. It would be a great thing to take a week out to just walk and sightsee. It could very well be inspirational.
Thank you for your comments Mike - very refreshing.
- Anthony