Janet Collins
Billy MJoggers Are The Enemy
February 6th 2008 03:00
WALKING through Sydney’s domain during lunchtime on a business day you ideally should be carrying a hockey stick.
With its lightweight feel and swing, it’s just perfect for swatting joggers as they swarm over the path, all sweaty and righteous in their exercise.
Don’t think for a minute these perspiring pavement-pounders will get out of your way, because in jogger logic, the person who’s sweating in the name of a physical workout is socially higher in importance.
Like a train suddenly chugging up right behind you an office load of macho cocky office workers appear.
It’s as if they fear being sacked should they fall out of shape. Worse are the bare-backs: those boofhead posers who take off their shirt to show of their beaut bods in flagrant disregard of modesty.
Just because they’re not endowed with chick boobs seems to justify this homo-erotic effrontery.
But not only are they a nuisance and an eyesore, when they pass by in the mid-day sun oftentimes you’ll be sprayed with sweat. See, they shake off like wet dogs, and it’s disgusting.
So while it’s all healthy for them and everything, they pose a hygiene risk for hapless pedestrians, also exercising, but in a quieter, less in-your-face fashion.
God bless the pedestrian.
With its lightweight feel and swing, it’s just perfect for swatting joggers as they swarm over the path, all sweaty and righteous in their exercise.
Don’t think for a minute these perspiring pavement-pounders will get out of your way, because in jogger logic, the person who’s sweating in the name of a physical workout is socially higher in importance.
Like a train suddenly chugging up right behind you an office load of macho cocky office workers appear.
It’s as if they fear being sacked should they fall out of shape. Worse are the bare-backs: those boofhead posers who take off their shirt to show of their beaut bods in flagrant disregard of modesty.
But not only are they a nuisance and an eyesore, when they pass by in the mid-day sun oftentimes you’ll be sprayed with sweat. See, they shake off like wet dogs, and it’s disgusting.
So while it’s all healthy for them and everything, they pose a hygiene risk for hapless pedestrians, also exercising, but in a quieter, less in-your-face fashion.
God bless the pedestrian.
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