Janet Collins
Billy MInto The Blogging Abyss
March 4th 2007 02:24
There’s pressure on a first time blogger. For someone who is new to the world of Orble, the journey into free speech can be a daunting one. Sure, I’ve done my fair share of google searches and taken everything written in Wikipedia as fact, but not even Jeeves (no matter how many times I ask him) can tell me how to approach high seas of ‘blogging’. The question remains, just what do every day shmos want do read? High end, intellectual, arty drivel? Lowest common denominator toilet humour? What does the shleppa at the supermarket check-out want of me? Essentially, it depends on what the average punter uses the internet for. That’s what makes this medium such a useful tool and such a challenge. From what I can gather, readers of the ‘Blog’ like chocolate facts. They like their information to be short, sharp and full of juicy gossip about the writer. Possibly, I have just made the mistake of breaking the illusion of intellect in my first post, but I value honesty – and the short memory of my readers.
At a particularly low-point of my creative career, I turned to the almighty Orble homepage for some tips on what you like to read. Apparently, long winded, personal insights are frowned upon, while blogs on cricket, business and cars are certain hits. Now, I know a little about cricket but nothing of business or cars. Surely these three topics couldn’t be the only key to the heart of my readers, or could they? Maybe Yeats got it wrong. If only he had ditched the horribly unoriginal notions of Irish Nationalism and the over-used clichés of human mortality, in favour of the runaway hits of ‘Cricket’, ‘Business’ and ‘Cars’ – maybe then Yeats would have been popular.
So, armed with the knowledge needed to propel me straight to the top, I feel ready to take that first shaky step towards the world of ‘Blog’. I am, however, still lacking a witty sign off.
At a particularly low-point of my creative career, I turned to the almighty Orble homepage for some tips on what you like to read. Apparently, long winded, personal insights are frowned upon, while blogs on cricket, business and cars are certain hits. Now, I know a little about cricket but nothing of business or cars. Surely these three topics couldn’t be the only key to the heart of my readers, or could they? Maybe Yeats got it wrong. If only he had ditched the horribly unoriginal notions of Irish Nationalism and the over-used clichés of human mortality, in favour of the runaway hits of ‘Cricket’, ‘Business’ and ‘Cars’ – maybe then Yeats would have been popular.
So, armed with the knowledge needed to propel me straight to the top, I feel ready to take that first shaky step towards the world of ‘Blog’. I am, however, still lacking a witty sign off.
Image courtesy of Getty Images
| 69 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by AnthonyB
As always, you know I love your work. And now your post has as many votes as my own. And i've been blogging for months !! you only just started. Brilliant work !!.
You are incredibly witty and I'm sure it will have audiences rolling off their laz-e-boys and down the hallways in hysterics.
Keep it up, bro !
- Anthony
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
PS Welcome to Orbledon
Comment by AnthonyB
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by AnthonyB
Nah, I'm kidding. Thanks for the comments Tracy. He appreciates it !!
- Anthony
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by AnthonyB
Oh please do it. Please. That'd be an awesome pub story... PLEASE KYLIE, PLEASE !!!
- Anthony
PLEASE !!!
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by AnthonyB
Were you proposing that we document their lives on paper, or perhaps a reality TV show, with all new exciting ways for people to meet and we can force them to love eachother...
I like it, I love it. I'm looking forward to discussing this over a cup of coffee. We meet with a potential investor Tuesday week. Keep that day free.
- Anthony