Janet CollinsCyber Sex and Infidelity
September 27th 2009 06:57
Cyber sex and other forms of imaginary sex have become quite topical again. This week, the results of research into online infidelity were published and concluded that cyber sex can be just as damaging as real life infidelity.
Quite a while ago I wrote a post which asked the question “is online sex, cheating?” The responses were mixed but overwhelmingly people generally believed that online sex was just as sinful as real life cheating.
The recent studies were conducted by Melbourne psychologist, Marcus Squirrell from Swinburne University, as part of his professional doctoral research. To gain a more specific insight into sex in the cyber world and its effect on the people playing the game and those around them, Squirrell went directly to the source.
The research was concentrated on a group of people who were already frequenting cyber sex sites and advertisements for participants were placed there. There were 1,325 who participated in the study, nearly half of whom were from North America, 12 per cent said they were Australian, 55 per cent said they were either married or in a serious offline relationship and 40 per cent were heterosexual.
This latest research was revealing to say the least. While Squirrell admitted that not all online sex is harmful, his research found that in many cases real life relationships can suffer, particularly if online hours are extreme. If cyber sex becomes very frequent, real life relationships can tend to diminish, even if the online relationships stay online.
There are other problems that quite frequently arise from excessive cyber sex too. Squirrell found a high level of depression among the users and in extreme cases, cyber sex had become an addiction, even a serious one. Squirrell says he already treats seven patients for their addiction to sex online.
The whole theme of imaginary sex became a storyline this week on one of our high rating televisions shows. Packed to the Rafters explored the themes or pornography and masturbation and the detrimental effect they can have on a relationship. It proved to be quite controversial when many viewers complained of the “unsavoury” storyline of the show.
Producers were quick to point out that the theme of the show was topical and did not contain anything that could be regarded as offensive.
While this week’s episode did not delve into the area of cyber sex, the show did however have a very similar theme to Squirrell’s study. The show focused on age-old types of behaviour by men such as looking at pornographic magazines but being caught by a partner while doing it.
It goes without saying that most people would find it offensive and quite likely be very hurt at someone, whether real or imaginary, being more attractive to their partner than they are. It also boils down to the fact that if a partner finds the need to look elsewhere for sexual gratification, then it is quite understandable for someone to believe their appeal has diminished as far as their partner is concerned.
In the case of cyber sex, what do you think? Is it harmless fun or just plain infidelity?
Sourced: www.abc.net.au; www.news.com.au
Image Credit: www.skynews.com.au
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Comment by Wilson Pon
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Thank goodness, I'm not one of them who involving in this thing. Honestly, you can say I'm an old-fashioned man, but I think we should be faithful with our loved one, especially once we're married!
Comment by Janet Collins
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I think a lot of people like to have what they haven't got but even more, are curious about what they don't have. For others it is all quite harmless but who knows until you try it anyway.
Good of you to drop by.
Janet
Comment by James Rickard
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Check this out...
Comment by Janet Collins
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It was great having you drop by. Thank you.
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
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Comment by Janet Collins
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I think most people would agree with you. The emotional side of things is certainly something a lot of people don't consider when they experiment with things like that. Who knows how deeply they are likely to go until they are already too far involved.
Thank you for the comment.
Comment by Chris Champion
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My first cyber-fling was with "Surfergirl", a beach-loving blonde from California. I was in the middle of breaking up a real-life relationship at the time, and in Surfergirl I found a ready and responsive audience for the outpourings of my troubled heart.
After an hour or two of incisive probing cloaked in supportive words, I twigged that Surfergirl was in fact not a blonde from California. She was, rather, the woman sitting three feet behind me at her desk in the study of our flat - the girlfriend with whom I was breaking up. I have always had massive respect for the skill with which that subterfuge was worked.
As for the consequences of on-line cheating, I refer anyone interested to this tragic story.
Comment by Janet Collins
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You have been blogging for a long time. Did you transfer all of your posts to your Orble site when you joined? When I get the time I will go back at look at some of the Hong Kong stories. I think they would be interesting.
Comment by Chris Champion
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I actually started blogging - on Orble - only a bit over a year ago. Those Hong Kong pieces were written in the late 1990s for a daily investment newsletter published by an investment bank, for which I worked as an editor (and, when I got bored, as a writer). As they had never appeared anywhere on-line (the newsletter was distributed by the then high-tech medium of fax), I thought I'd post them on my blog, but under the original dates.
Comment by Janet Collins
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